A late night Walk...

I've attempted to write blog post after blog post this week, but after about the first two sentences I would delete and think to myself, I will try again later. Nothing was just coming to me, however last night as I talked with Ms. Ida, she kind of wrote my blog for me. I was coming home from babysitting in Columbia and as soon as I pulled up my car was swarmed with the boys proudly telling me that they walked to the library yesterday and that they were sorry they didn't wait for me. It was dark and all of a sudden I hear, "Pee-wee, Damien, Doughboy, get over here, you know you're not supposed to be running all around right now," and she came over to gather them and talk to me. She told me they were about to walk Doughboy home (apparently he's related to her as well) and I said, oh can I walk with you, she looked at me like I had three heads and then said, "Sure (in her sweet Ms. Ida voice)!"

A little background on Ms. Ida, she's the neighborhood grandma, aside from her own grandkids, two of which she raises she cares for pretty much every other kid on the block, she loves them like they are hers and she disciplines them like they are hers. She's pouring out love at every turn, she's sharing her home, her stoop, her wisdom with those around her. Loving people, Ms. Ida reminds me a lot of Jesus, she makes sacrifices for others, she loves people, she's overflowing with wisdom and beauty like none other, she carries herself with grace and pours out mercy on those around her, a lot like Jesus, He made the ultimate sacrifice for us, He loves us no matter what, and He's overflowing with Grace and Mercy.

I have been praying for an opportunity to talk with Ms. Ida about Jesus, I've been praying (and inviting her) for her to come to a City Night service, I have been asking God for unique opportunities to love Ms. Ida and for opportunities to spend time with her. So last night when she told me I could join her on her four block late night walk my heart got so excited, because this was one of those unique opportunities to spend time with Ms. Ida, and God completely opened a door for me to be able to share Jesus with her in a unique way. She opened the conversation without even knowing it, as we walked down N. Luzerne from the 400 to the 500 to the 600 to the 700 block the neighborhood becomes more desolate, as we crossed over one of the block, there were police cars and ambulances on the block, as she's shaking her head, "There's always something going on somewhere, people just don't know." As I pondered that thought, I thought to myself don't know what, what don't they know?

That scene reminded me to ask if she knew anything about what may have happened on Orleans the other night and it turns out there was a young girl, who had gotten so wasted on crack she was doing the "crack walk" across Orleans and someone hit her, and then Ms. Ida said again, "They just don't know," so I pryed, what don't they know, "How far away from something Good they are." So my immediate response, is you mean God? They don't know how far from God they are? "Yes Ms. Colleen, that's what I mean, I know I don't do everything right, but I do know I am going to heaven, I do know who my God is," as we walked down that dark street, and watched people sitting on their stoops drinking, smoking, talking about the next round I could hear Ms. Ida reminding people to say their prayers tonight and I just smiled to myself. This woman who I have fallen so in love with is teaching me so much, using little words.

As we walked back to her house, we talked about when her kids were little, talked about how she reminds me of my grandma and how much I miss her, she invited me to come to Pee-wee's school with her tomorrow and meet his teachers, she told me about the nightly routine in her home, we laughed, we talked and in the moment I was relishing in the fact that God has once again provided me with something I longed for and missed in my life. My Grandmother and Ms. Ida are one in the same, my grandma was everyone's grandma, she'd sacrifice her last dime to make sure all the hungry kids got to eat, she carried herself with so much grace and mercy, as I hugged Ms. Ida last night we firmed up plans to take Pee-wee to breakfast and then she reminded me to remember to say my prayers, I held on a little tighter and I looked up and saw the moon trying to peek out among the clouds and I thanked God.

Ms. Ida has overcome so much in her 50some years, and I am thankful and excited to spend more time getting to know her, I am excited to share laughs, tears, meals and love with her. I am excited to learn from her, and share Jesus with her in the most unique ways. Would you pray for Ms. Ida with me today? For strength, for wisdom and for blessings?

The Next Dwight Howard?

I am pretty sure every blog entry starts with I love my job because...well this one is going to be no different. Yesterday I came back from a few days away, and I was more than ready to come back, I missed my neighborhood, the kids, my noise...I can only handle so much quiet! My welcome home was nothing less than I expected, "Ms. Colleen you makin' some frozen grapes?" You see on Sunday when I left had three bags of frozen grapes, when I got in my car I was left with one because the kids were so excited about them, so when I got back Nikoy wanted more, I promised that would be on my grocery list for today! I was also greeted with Ms. Colleen you're home in the loudest voice possible and smothered with love and hugs. I really am truly blessed. I spend a lot of time thanking God for providing me the opportunity, to love these kids, it's such confirmation that God provides the desires of our hearts.

Apparently according to Meiki, I am just like Dwight Howard on the basketball court, haha I think I have a LONG way to go, however the kids, Bryan and I played basketball last night, and man are they good, but I was told by these all-star basketball players that I've got defense skills like Howard! I'm pretty sure (okay not completely sure) that's a compliment! The fact that I played hard core basketball with the kids for an hour last night is something to celebrate for me, Dwight Howard or not I am excited...literally a year ago I would not have been able to do that, I would have shot a few goals and then found something else to do. But part of this journey I am on is a weight loss journey, I feel the best now that I have ever felt in my life...

Being a few days removed from the summer and all of it's madness I've spent some time reflecting, in my four years of ministry I would have to say this was by far the best most successful summer I've ever had serving. It's been so nice to look back and see the fruit from all of the hard work that was put in this summer, one great example of that is with one of the little boys in the neighborhood, you see this kids is a whiner, a hitter, a kicker, and pretty much no one ever wants to play with him. However last night as we played basketball, I invited him to be on my team, there was not hitting, no punching, and only a little bit of whining. The other amazing thing is the respect that the kids are starting to have at one point in our basketball game I grabbed the ball, called a time out and let them know there's not arguing, ball hogging etc. that only had to happen once and that's it. But the even greater reward is the number of kids who are asking questions about Jesus, who want and desire to know more, and who accepted Jesus into their hearts this summer. Five camps, seven missions teams and seven long weeks was completely and totally worth it.

As I begin to settle into a normal routine 'round here I dream about what life is going to look like over the next few weeks, months and years...I get excited about starting bible studies in my home, I get excited about cooking classes, dinners with neighbors, church services in our beautiful old building, opening my home to the kids, trips to the library, reading club, field trips, homework help, making cookies, and loving...I am so excited to love...I read and recite this verse multiple times daily,"A new command I give you; love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another," (NIV John 13:34-35), if nothing else I want people to know I love Jesus and I love them as He has commanded.

Would you join me in prayer for the next few weeks, months and years of ministry here? Would you pray with me as I continue my journey on faith? Would you pray with me as I love that He has called me to just as He loves me? Would you pray as I continue to seek out the plans God has for me and follow them? I am so thankful for prayer partners, thank you for your support and prayers.

Blessings from Chicago to PA, even South Carolina

Each week this summer I have been blessed to have the opportunity to share the ministry God has trusted me with, with people from all over the United States, this week is no different, this week Baltimore has been blessed with a team from Chicago, a team from Pennsylvania and a team from South Carolina. No two weeks this summer has been the same, they've all been unique and special in their own way, this week is no different, in fact up until Saturday morning there was an entirely different plan for these teams, we were going to host a Song and Dance camp this week, complete with a talent show, however as I prayed and as God connected the leaders of this team, I felt God was calling us in a bit of a different direction, and so we've been doing what I am calling a Taste of Camp, we've pulled a lesson from each of the few weeks of camp and we've reviewed them for kids who've been here all summer and introduced them to those who haven't, tomorrow we'll surprise the kids with an ice cream and pizza party to end the summer!

Each week comes packed with uniqueness and surprises, this week we've attended street church with our friends at Old Town Mall, we've hosted kids camp, prayed at murder sites in the neighborhood, visited our friends in homeless park, hosted a movie night for our neighbors and worked on several different projects around the church. By the time this groups leaves we will have freshly painted bathrooms, kitchen and multi-purpose room, we're also getting ready to paint an awesome mural in the back of the building as we convert that into a play area for our young neighbors.

If you'd like to see pictures from our week please add me on facebook

True Love...

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us the definition of true love, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. True love means loving someone through their flaws, loving someone with such an unconditional love, for many years I have prayed for the Lord to bless me with true love, however my prayers for true love haven't exactly been answered the way I wanted them to be (with a husband of course), but in a way bigger than I could have ever hoped or imagined, I have experienced true love through a beautiful group of children, through groups of people from all over the country who God has sent to bless my life. As I write my blog entry tonight I have a song on of my new favorites playing on repeat in the background and tears streaming down my face, because I realized tonight as I sat in the fellowship hall of the church and shared life with a missions team, and I could hear four or five kids calling my name from the street, that I have been blessed with true love. I've been blessed with missions teams from all over the country who've come to Baltimore and loved my ministry and me unconditionally, I have been blessed with a neighborhood full of kids who beat down my door daily, and who scream my name at the top of their lungs when they know I am home but not outside.

The other day I found a paper heart and it said, "I <3's you's," I picked it up out of the street and put it on my door hoping that one of the kids would claim it, and the next day, Pee-wee, said Ms. Colleen you found the heart I made you! Friday night I had friends over for dinner and as we gathered around my island, ate dinner and had fellowship, eyes peered in the windows, and little hand waved through the windows, last week I walked some of my kids to camp a few days out of the week and as I held their hands and walked down the street I realized my blessings, last night as I came inside and had three kids attached to me, I realized my blessings, I've known for a long time that God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we want Him too, but usually in the way He sees fit for us at the time.

Daily I pray for the Lord to send me someone who will appreciate this life He has called me too, someone who will realize that this isn't just a past time I cling onto until something better comes along, but that this is indeed the calling God has for my life. However tonight as I had my quiet time I realized that my true love and blessing is going to come from making funny faces for a camera with Chase, cuddling on the couch and listening to Daquan read a book to me, taking Kenyon, Maki, Tymonte and Imani to the Farmer's Market and then to Burger King for lunch, doing side walk chalk with Pee-Wee and handing ice cream sandwiches out my "drive-thru" kitchen window, my true love is going to come from the banging on my door, the trips to the library, the hugs and the lessons I am going to learn from these kids.

Tonight I am thankful for the lesson I have learned this week...that God is providing my exactly what my heart desires, even if not in the way I desire!

A few prayer requests:

-I met with some officers at the police station last week, they seem to be interested in what we are doing in the neighborhood and promised to make an appearance at some kidzclub events, so please allow them to stick to their word and actually come and spend some time with our kids.

-Four prostitutes I met on Wednesday evening, we sat in a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts and read the bible until 4:20 in the morning, I have heard from one of the girls since then and am praying that God will connect us so that more work may be done in their hearts and lives.

-For the teams here this week, one from Chicago and one from PA, I am so excited about the ministry that has already begun, and the bonding between all of us, I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this team.

Thanks for your prayers!

Just another lazy Saturday

Yesterday morning I was planning to make breakfast with Pee-Wee and Jordan but they stood me up, so I decided that I would make lunch with a few of the older kids that afternoon. As I came back from the grocery store, I heard the famous line, "Ms. Colleen's Home!" and there they were to help me carry in my groceries, as we stood in the kitchen and they had samples of fresh baked croissants we had gotten earlier at the Farmers Market with raspberry jam on them, and ponder what they wanted for lunch, I realized I had forgotten to pick up bread (we were going to have grilled cheese!), so I told them we could go out to lunch. I am so happy that we did that because I got to work with them on ordering from a menu properly, using manners and eating in a restaurant AND one of my homeless friends was around so we got to buy lunch for him too.

It was so fun to watch them each pick what they wanted from the menu politely order it, get their drinks and sit quietly for their food, even pray before eating. We talked about eating slowly, talking quietly amongst ourselves at the table, to clean up before we leave and to be polite to the workers. It melted my heart to watch these kids do all of these things, what made me even more proud and happy was the way they used please and thank you!

We spent the rest of the afternoon together, we went to my old house and picked some things up, we came back and they gorged themselves on fresh strawberries and peaches and then we snuggled up in the prayer room and read books.

Yesterday my house became exactly what I want it too, I had four kids in and out all day, I had a young single mom searching for jobs using my laptop and internet, engaging me in the "problems" of her life, asking me for help with her applications and then my friends spent the evening here, it was the epitome of perfect in my life.

The highlight of my day yesterday, this older African American man walked up to me and he said, "Ms. Colleen we need more of you in this city," I looked at him like he was crazy and he said,"I heard the kids saying your name, and watching you work so lovingly and gently with them, made me think we need more of you, here's my card let me know if I can ever do anything for you." As I was leaving he said, please email I am serious, I would love to know more about what your doing in Baltimore. I wanted to hug this stranger he wasn't complimenting me he was complimenting my kids!

I am so excited about the upcoming week and things God has planned for me, dinner with some neighbors, a new missions team to work with, taking the boys to the library, dinner with a couple of the teen-young adult girls, and possibly a cooking lesson from Ms. Ida!

Prayer this morning: God will continue to control every footstep of this journey!

Books, Books everywhere

Idream all the time about the things I can do with the kids, and so for weeks I have been dreaming about getting every one of them a library card and starting a reading club. Unfortunately when missions teams are in town its so busy I don't have time to get away and do things like that, however this week I have had a little bit of a break, and so I planned our first outing to the library! We took five girls, and off we went, they were so excited to go to the library, I actually thought they would moan and complain because we weren't going somewhere "cool!" But the library was actually more exciting to them then the trip to the aquarium they had taken earlier in the day!

After we argued over who was going to go on the first trip, and promising to get books the boys would like to read too, the girls won and got to go. The cool part about this was that two of the girls who came are turning 8 today and so we combined our library trip with a Happy Birthday Doughnut trip too (Happy Birthday Joy and Nikoy!). I was really surprised at how good they did at the library, we had spent time talking about how many books they would each be allowed to check out, and the proper etiquette for the library before we even went to the library. The limit at our library is 30 books and right now I have 25 in my house, and trust me they have already been put to good use. When we returned from the library the plan was to have the girls come in for an hour and read, there were a few rules, there was no playing, no talking, it was quiet reading time, and we were all going to read including Ms. Amy, Miss Lizzy and myself (we like to lead by example).

So five girls turned into 9 kids and 9 kids turned in 12 and before I knew it these kids you hear yelling and screaming outside of my house were sitting in almost complete silence reading, some of them only came into read because it was the equivalent of 110 degrees yesterday and my house was "freezing" compared to that, however I don't care why they came in, I love that they came in and they know my house is a safe, cool place for them to hang out. The other thing I loved was the fact that these kids were sharing books, handing them back and forth talking about what they were reading, and when the hour was up they didn't want to leave, they wanted to stay and read more. I have to admit I was so surprised at how well these kids could read, and how excited they were about reading.

The plan for today is to go and buy a book basket to keep in the prayer room, it will hold all of the books we bring from the library, and that everyday for one hour in the afternoon when I don't have a missions team here and I am home, I will allow the kids to all come in and have a quiet hour to read and talk about the books they are reading. In fact the last thing I heard last night before I went to bed, was "Ms. Colleen, please don't forget to put the smiley face out so we know when we can come over and read tomorrow." Next week I am taking some of the boys to the library, I am sure it will be an entirely different experience than the girls, but I am so excited! If you'd like to see the pictures from our library trip today or any of the summer activities please visit my facebook page and click on the summer 2011 Kidz Club/Camps album

Update: I called the police department to ask about the No Ball Playing signs, and while I didn't hear the answers that I wanted too, I did have a productive conversation with one of the community officers and he invited me to come and meet with him and a few of his partners on Tuesday about how we can partner within the community and to do things with the kids. I am excited about this partnership and to dream about how we can connect. One of the other things I dream about (I dream A LOT!) is how we can help the kids to see that the police are not all bad people, and that we need to respect them, but also how we can help the police see that the kids are not all bad either, and that sometimes they just need a little love.



My prayer for today is this, will you join me in praying?

-For the community officers I meet with on Tuesday to have open hearts and minds to what we are doing on the block and to be excited about getting involved.

No Ball Playing...and loving all of my neighbors...

On Tuesday some signs were put up on our block that say "NO BALL PLAYING" this has left the neighborhood in an uproar, the police have been standing on the corner to enforce this, and the homeowners at the end of our block have been out on the streets telling the kids that they need to take their fun elsewhere. There are a few reasons that the neighbors are heated about this, one is these signs were put up with a petition, however none of the neighbors at the end of the block where my home is were asked to sign a petition, the signs are posted between one house and another on the block and it is unclear about where no ball playing is too take place, and no one seems to have a clue what the real "rules" about these signs are. Last night one of the officer who was on the corner monitoring said ball playing, told me he assumed it was for the whole block but he wasn't sure. I am a little unsure about how he can enforce these rules if he's not even clear about them.

I politely told this "friendly" officer that I run a program at the church and that we play outside a lot and that I planned to continue to play ball in front of my property, and I thought it was ridiculous that I was being told what to do on my block in front of my house. His solution for me was to call the Southeast district community officers, which I do plan to do today. So as I was walking home last night from speaking with this officer, I knew exactly why the signs had been placed on the block, I knew exactly who had petitioned for these signs to be put up, and I too felt the anger of my neighbors, because the reality is these kids are playing football or bouncing a basketball, they could be standing on the corner hustling drugs, they could be busting out car windows, they could be clearing out our homes, but they aren't they are playing ball.

As I walked home a couple of the boys told me that the neighbors who wanted peace and quiet on the block yelled at them earlier for running down the block, that they told them they needed to learn how to play in a park, this made me even more angry, but as I walked past their house God reminded I was put on this block to love ALL of my neighbors, and that I should pray for my neighbors, and help them to see the movement we are trying to start with the kids on our block, I should pray for Him to be revealed to them through us and what we are doing here and that I should invite them down on a Wednesday evening to hang out with us and see that the kids really aren't that bad, they are just kids. In my head I argued with God about all the reasons why I didn't want to do this, but He gently reminded me of Matthew 22:37-39, "³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself," those neighbors deserve the same kind of love that I would give Ms. Ray, Ms. Ida, Big D or Ms. Crystal. They are no different, just a little more difficult to love.

So since I never see them, today I am going to send them an email and invite them to join us for church on Sunday and then tell them I would love for them to come and spend some time loving the kids with us on Wednesday evening, and through this I will get to love on them. I prayed in front of their home last night that they would be open to what God is going to do here and that their hearts would be open to my emails and invitations.

So would you pray for me today as I call the Southeast District and find out the actual rules of these signs, and as I send an email to my neighbors inviting them to church and to hang out with the kids? Would you pray that God would bridge the gap between them and the other neighbors, and they would see the community they are missing out on?