True Love...

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us the definition of true love, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. True love means loving someone through their flaws, loving someone with such an unconditional love, for many years I have prayed for the Lord to bless me with true love, however my prayers for true love haven't exactly been answered the way I wanted them to be (with a husband of course), but in a way bigger than I could have ever hoped or imagined, I have experienced true love through a beautiful group of children, through groups of people from all over the country who God has sent to bless my life. As I write my blog entry tonight I have a song on of my new favorites playing on repeat in the background and tears streaming down my face, because I realized tonight as I sat in the fellowship hall of the church and shared life with a missions team, and I could hear four or five kids calling my name from the street, that I have been blessed with true love. I've been blessed with missions teams from all over the country who've come to Baltimore and loved my ministry and me unconditionally, I have been blessed with a neighborhood full of kids who beat down my door daily, and who scream my name at the top of their lungs when they know I am home but not outside.

The other day I found a paper heart and it said, "I <3's you's," I picked it up out of the street and put it on my door hoping that one of the kids would claim it, and the next day, Pee-wee, said Ms. Colleen you found the heart I made you! Friday night I had friends over for dinner and as we gathered around my island, ate dinner and had fellowship, eyes peered in the windows, and little hand waved through the windows, last week I walked some of my kids to camp a few days out of the week and as I held their hands and walked down the street I realized my blessings, last night as I came inside and had three kids attached to me, I realized my blessings, I've known for a long time that God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we want Him too, but usually in the way He sees fit for us at the time.

Daily I pray for the Lord to send me someone who will appreciate this life He has called me too, someone who will realize that this isn't just a past time I cling onto until something better comes along, but that this is indeed the calling God has for my life. However tonight as I had my quiet time I realized that my true love and blessing is going to come from making funny faces for a camera with Chase, cuddling on the couch and listening to Daquan read a book to me, taking Kenyon, Maki, Tymonte and Imani to the Farmer's Market and then to Burger King for lunch, doing side walk chalk with Pee-Wee and handing ice cream sandwiches out my "drive-thru" kitchen window, my true love is going to come from the banging on my door, the trips to the library, the hugs and the lessons I am going to learn from these kids.

Tonight I am thankful for the lesson I have learned this week...that God is providing my exactly what my heart desires, even if not in the way I desire!

A few prayer requests:

-I met with some officers at the police station last week, they seem to be interested in what we are doing in the neighborhood and promised to make an appearance at some kidzclub events, so please allow them to stick to their word and actually come and spend some time with our kids.

-Four prostitutes I met on Wednesday evening, we sat in a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts and read the bible until 4:20 in the morning, I have heard from one of the girls since then and am praying that God will connect us so that more work may be done in their hearts and lives.

-For the teams here this week, one from Chicago and one from PA, I am so excited about the ministry that has already begun, and the bonding between all of us, I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this team.

Thanks for your prayers!

Just another lazy Saturday

Yesterday morning I was planning to make breakfast with Pee-Wee and Jordan but they stood me up, so I decided that I would make lunch with a few of the older kids that afternoon. As I came back from the grocery store, I heard the famous line, "Ms. Colleen's Home!" and there they were to help me carry in my groceries, as we stood in the kitchen and they had samples of fresh baked croissants we had gotten earlier at the Farmers Market with raspberry jam on them, and ponder what they wanted for lunch, I realized I had forgotten to pick up bread (we were going to have grilled cheese!), so I told them we could go out to lunch. I am so happy that we did that because I got to work with them on ordering from a menu properly, using manners and eating in a restaurant AND one of my homeless friends was around so we got to buy lunch for him too.

It was so fun to watch them each pick what they wanted from the menu politely order it, get their drinks and sit quietly for their food, even pray before eating. We talked about eating slowly, talking quietly amongst ourselves at the table, to clean up before we leave and to be polite to the workers. It melted my heart to watch these kids do all of these things, what made me even more proud and happy was the way they used please and thank you!

We spent the rest of the afternoon together, we went to my old house and picked some things up, we came back and they gorged themselves on fresh strawberries and peaches and then we snuggled up in the prayer room and read books.

Yesterday my house became exactly what I want it too, I had four kids in and out all day, I had a young single mom searching for jobs using my laptop and internet, engaging me in the "problems" of her life, asking me for help with her applications and then my friends spent the evening here, it was the epitome of perfect in my life.

The highlight of my day yesterday, this older African American man walked up to me and he said, "Ms. Colleen we need more of you in this city," I looked at him like he was crazy and he said,"I heard the kids saying your name, and watching you work so lovingly and gently with them, made me think we need more of you, here's my card let me know if I can ever do anything for you." As I was leaving he said, please email I am serious, I would love to know more about what your doing in Baltimore. I wanted to hug this stranger he wasn't complimenting me he was complimenting my kids!

I am so excited about the upcoming week and things God has planned for me, dinner with some neighbors, a new missions team to work with, taking the boys to the library, dinner with a couple of the teen-young adult girls, and possibly a cooking lesson from Ms. Ida!

Prayer this morning: God will continue to control every footstep of this journey!

Books, Books everywhere

Idream all the time about the things I can do with the kids, and so for weeks I have been dreaming about getting every one of them a library card and starting a reading club. Unfortunately when missions teams are in town its so busy I don't have time to get away and do things like that, however this week I have had a little bit of a break, and so I planned our first outing to the library! We took five girls, and off we went, they were so excited to go to the library, I actually thought they would moan and complain because we weren't going somewhere "cool!" But the library was actually more exciting to them then the trip to the aquarium they had taken earlier in the day!

After we argued over who was going to go on the first trip, and promising to get books the boys would like to read too, the girls won and got to go. The cool part about this was that two of the girls who came are turning 8 today and so we combined our library trip with a Happy Birthday Doughnut trip too (Happy Birthday Joy and Nikoy!). I was really surprised at how good they did at the library, we had spent time talking about how many books they would each be allowed to check out, and the proper etiquette for the library before we even went to the library. The limit at our library is 30 books and right now I have 25 in my house, and trust me they have already been put to good use. When we returned from the library the plan was to have the girls come in for an hour and read, there were a few rules, there was no playing, no talking, it was quiet reading time, and we were all going to read including Ms. Amy, Miss Lizzy and myself (we like to lead by example).

So five girls turned into 9 kids and 9 kids turned in 12 and before I knew it these kids you hear yelling and screaming outside of my house were sitting in almost complete silence reading, some of them only came into read because it was the equivalent of 110 degrees yesterday and my house was "freezing" compared to that, however I don't care why they came in, I love that they came in and they know my house is a safe, cool place for them to hang out. The other thing I loved was the fact that these kids were sharing books, handing them back and forth talking about what they were reading, and when the hour was up they didn't want to leave, they wanted to stay and read more. I have to admit I was so surprised at how well these kids could read, and how excited they were about reading.

The plan for today is to go and buy a book basket to keep in the prayer room, it will hold all of the books we bring from the library, and that everyday for one hour in the afternoon when I don't have a missions team here and I am home, I will allow the kids to all come in and have a quiet hour to read and talk about the books they are reading. In fact the last thing I heard last night before I went to bed, was "Ms. Colleen, please don't forget to put the smiley face out so we know when we can come over and read tomorrow." Next week I am taking some of the boys to the library, I am sure it will be an entirely different experience than the girls, but I am so excited! If you'd like to see the pictures from our library trip today or any of the summer activities please visit my facebook page and click on the summer 2011 Kidz Club/Camps album

Update: I called the police department to ask about the No Ball Playing signs, and while I didn't hear the answers that I wanted too, I did have a productive conversation with one of the community officers and he invited me to come and meet with him and a few of his partners on Tuesday about how we can partner within the community and to do things with the kids. I am excited about this partnership and to dream about how we can connect. One of the other things I dream about (I dream A LOT!) is how we can help the kids to see that the police are not all bad people, and that we need to respect them, but also how we can help the police see that the kids are not all bad either, and that sometimes they just need a little love.



My prayer for today is this, will you join me in praying?

-For the community officers I meet with on Tuesday to have open hearts and minds to what we are doing on the block and to be excited about getting involved.

No Ball Playing...and loving all of my neighbors...

On Tuesday some signs were put up on our block that say "NO BALL PLAYING" this has left the neighborhood in an uproar, the police have been standing on the corner to enforce this, and the homeowners at the end of our block have been out on the streets telling the kids that they need to take their fun elsewhere. There are a few reasons that the neighbors are heated about this, one is these signs were put up with a petition, however none of the neighbors at the end of the block where my home is were asked to sign a petition, the signs are posted between one house and another on the block and it is unclear about where no ball playing is too take place, and no one seems to have a clue what the real "rules" about these signs are. Last night one of the officer who was on the corner monitoring said ball playing, told me he assumed it was for the whole block but he wasn't sure. I am a little unsure about how he can enforce these rules if he's not even clear about them.

I politely told this "friendly" officer that I run a program at the church and that we play outside a lot and that I planned to continue to play ball in front of my property, and I thought it was ridiculous that I was being told what to do on my block in front of my house. His solution for me was to call the Southeast district community officers, which I do plan to do today. So as I was walking home last night from speaking with this officer, I knew exactly why the signs had been placed on the block, I knew exactly who had petitioned for these signs to be put up, and I too felt the anger of my neighbors, because the reality is these kids are playing football or bouncing a basketball, they could be standing on the corner hustling drugs, they could be busting out car windows, they could be clearing out our homes, but they aren't they are playing ball.

As I walked home a couple of the boys told me that the neighbors who wanted peace and quiet on the block yelled at them earlier for running down the block, that they told them they needed to learn how to play in a park, this made me even more angry, but as I walked past their house God reminded I was put on this block to love ALL of my neighbors, and that I should pray for my neighbors, and help them to see the movement we are trying to start with the kids on our block, I should pray for Him to be revealed to them through us and what we are doing here and that I should invite them down on a Wednesday evening to hang out with us and see that the kids really aren't that bad, they are just kids. In my head I argued with God about all the reasons why I didn't want to do this, but He gently reminded me of Matthew 22:37-39, "³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself," those neighbors deserve the same kind of love that I would give Ms. Ray, Ms. Ida, Big D or Ms. Crystal. They are no different, just a little more difficult to love.

So since I never see them, today I am going to send them an email and invite them to join us for church on Sunday and then tell them I would love for them to come and spend some time loving the kids with us on Wednesday evening, and through this I will get to love on them. I prayed in front of their home last night that they would be open to what God is going to do here and that their hearts would be open to my emails and invitations.

So would you pray for me today as I call the Southeast District and find out the actual rules of these signs, and as I send an email to my neighbors inviting them to church and to hang out with the kids? Would you pray that God would bridge the gap between them and the other neighbors, and they would see the community they are missing out on?

Fruit Salad, love and respect

This morning when I woke up I didn't hear birds chirping, or grassing blowing, no I woke up to little boys bouncing a basketball and squealing (okay maybe yelling) at each other, but the reality is that's my calm, that's my birds chirping, that's my peace. I was so excited, I jetted down the stairs and opened the door and asked them what they were doing and if they wanted to help me make a fruit salad. Of course they just wanted an excuse to see if I have a TV yet, so we can watch Cars, but they came and we made according to them, "the most delicious ever, Miss Colleen," fruit salad. As I stood in my kitchen with these beautiful little boys, I couldn't help but smile as they tossed the fruit I chopped into the big bowl and squeezed the lemon over it. I couldn't help but think of these little boys who shove, hit and scream at each other on the street, hanging out with me, being polite and learning what it means to share and have manners.

You see when I moved into this house, I immediately begin to dream about what it would look like to live here, making cookies with the girls, playing Wii with the boys, having bible studies with the moms, already I have made cookies with the girls, made fruit salad with the boys and have invited some of my neighbors to join me for dinner on a few different occasions next week. Last night when I pulled up in front of my house, I heard, "hey guys Ms. Colleen's home, come on," and suddenly I was surrounded by kids, I came in and got a basketful of ice pops and we sat on my front steps talking, and sharing flavor-ice. About an hour later one of the grandmothers who lives a couple of doors down from me, came over and said, "When you pulled up tonight it was like the world stopped, you sure are loved here," this meant so much to me, because really I didn't want to be the white girl who moved into change the neighborhood, I want (ed) to be the new neighbor who moved into to love her neighbors and live life with them. And while ultimately I know that God has put me here for a greater purpose, being a neighbor who shares loves is just one of the ways I get to do this. I love the fact that when I leave at night "Big D" asks where I am going and when I will be back, and while at first I was a little put off by this, I realized it was because he wanted to make sure I got home safely at night, and when I come home after dark "Big D" is sitting on his step waiting to make sure I am safe, while he's quiet and doesn't interact much he's made it perfectly clear to me that he's looking out for me. I feel so loved and respected within my community. I love that I can have conversations with my neighbors about prayer, I love that the kids want to know where I am going and when I will be back, I love that Pee-wee asks me why he can't see Jesus!

Over the past week my friends from Stough Baptist Church in North Carolina, were visiting Baltimore for their annual youth missions trip, we did a lot of things, but the one thing that means the most to me is that they worked so hard to help my house become MY home, they cleaned, they blessed me by fulfilling some of the wishes on my wish list and they finished some of the projects that were on the list. I have been so blessed this summer with people from all over the country who've come to Baltimore to be a part of my journey. Another amazing thing that we did last week was run a camp called Art Explosion, at the end of the week we had planned to have an art auction, the idea was that the kids would chose a charity that we would give some of the money back too, so they would know what it means to give back. It came down to pets and homeless people, the kids chose last week to support the homeless in Baltimore and they will be giving a lot of the money they raised back to the Helping up Mission here in Baltimore. The other part of the money will be used to do something special for the kids the last week of camp, these kids have been faithful in coming to camp every week and I want to do something fun with them. Thanks to all of our friends who came out and supported our auction we were able to raise over $500. When I told the kids this they were so excited, and I am so proud of them for their hard work last week.

I have a few prayer requests to share with you:

I am praying for Pee-Wee, I have fallen in love with this little 5 year old from day one when he told me I was his new best friend, this past week he has been asking a lot of serious questions about Jesus, and why we can't see Him, I have been praying and asking God to give me the right answers to say to him, but I also praying that he can see Jesus through the people God is placing here to serve and love.

We have two more camps this summer, I am so excited about them, I am praying God is glorified in everything we do here and that these last two camps are nothing but honoring to
Him.

Thanks for taking this journey with me through your prayers and support!

We're all the same....

Saturday morning my team from Zanesville pulled out and my new team pulled in just a few hours later, it's an all women's group from Elizabeth, New Jersey they've come to love the women in my life. The Pretty in Pink girls, my homeless lady friends, the little girls in my neighborhood and the homeless ladies I've grown to love in the park. On Saturday night we had trip orientation and we talked about the week, one of the ladies on the trip was worried about not being able to relate to the women she would meet this week, we talked about how she's right in so many ways she won't be able to relate to a girl standing on the corner selling her body, or a woman living in the park, or a young girl who goes home to an empty home with no food, but then we talked about all of the ways that she would be able to relate, she's a woman growing up in today's world, God has made us all beautiful and special and we each have a story to tell.

Sunday morning this particular girl was put to the test we went to street church and interacted with people who are "different" than us, we invited women who they didn't know to join us a few hours later for lunch and a day of pampering. A day of pampering it was, the ladies arrived to the church around 12:45 and we all had lunch and fellowship, and then the women on the team served the women from the streets through feet washing, massages, pedicures, manicures and love. It was a room full of beauty, I wish that I could have been able to share it with everyone of you who is reading this, this was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Laughs, love, hugs and stories were exchanged, some of the most broken women in my life were smiling, were relaxed and were getting the opportunity to forget about the outside for a few hours and understand the love of God through a group of women who God sent to serve them.

As I sat back and got pampered as well, I realized that we really are all the same, not in the uniqueness that God has created us all differently but in the sense that we do all have a story, and that we are all beautiful in God's eyes, God doesn't make ugly.

Today as we hosted day 1 of Princess Camp, we talked about being brave princesses, and we read a story about a little girl who was so brave that when lighting struck around her she believed that she was so beautiful God was taking pictures of her. When I first read the story I through to myself, how often do I become scared of life? How often does fear stand in the way of serving God? Am I not trusting God if I don't believe that He could protect me from my fears. The bible verse we meditated on with the girls today was 2 Timothy 1:7 "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." God has created us to be confident, to walk boldly into this world and serve and love Him beyond all measure.

As I pray over this week, I hope that God works in my heart, I struggle sometimes with accepting the truth I read about God creating my fearfully and wonderfully, and about how I am beautiful in God's eyes, and how the girls on the street that have captured my heart are no different that me. I am so thankful that God has called me to serve these women and young girls He strategically places in my life, I hope and pray that the story I have is one that can change lives, that can help these women. I hope that I can continue to blossom into the woman that God wants me to be.

I sat in a room yesterday full of women who were broken, but that God is working in, a room full of women who can relate to my journey and women who are going to love me through the ups and downs of the journey God is taking me on, for that I am so thankful and realize how blessed I am.

As I close tonight I have just one request, would you please keep these special women in my life (my team from Elizabeth, the women in my neighborhood, the women I meet through Pretty in Pink, the women from the homeless park and the women of street-church) in prayer, each of them has something in their life they are working through, each of them has a story to tell, would you please pray that their hearts would be protected through their journey?

I LOVE MY LIFE!

I can actually say that with complete truth, yes there are ups and downs and things that go wrong and things that go right, but I know that I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be right now, and I love it. I love that my "9-5" (which is hardly 9-5) is living in a community and serving the people there, I love that it consists of walking 50 kids to the local park for a day of fun, I love that it consists of watching the kids run through the sprinkler on my back porch, I love that it consists of hosting missions teams from all over the United States, and I love that I get to be Jesus with hands and feet in a broken city. I love that I get to hear stories like that of "S" and of "A"!

You see this week at camp we talked about prayer, and last night when we invited the parents to join us for a night of camp, we relived a day of camp for the parents, at the end we invited some of the campers to pray. Well as I looked back "S" was raising his hand and coming to the front. He stood in front of a room of about 60 people including the kids, and he shared the beginning of his story, about how just a few weeks ago he committed his life to Christ and how just last Sunday he followed in obedience to baptism. He also shared that just before a few weeks ago he didn't know how to pray and he said he wanted his first "real" (because I believe all prayers are real) to be with us, and "S" stood there and prayed with all of us the most beautiful prayer, about life changes, about Pastor Tally, about Maurice and Val and the new family to love him God has provided. Mind you "S" is only 17 years old, a senior in high school, he came yesterday and served along side the missions team, he stayed last night and shared his heart about going to college someday and what he wants to be. This is why I love my life, I get to experience these things day in and day out.

You know what else I love, I love that I get to watch teenagers who come from the suburbs, small towns and other place, come to Baltimore, serve there hearts out and leave Baltimore changed. On this trip there were many life changes, but there was one that stuck out the most to me. Last night after we shared late night tacos, and the kids sung one more song and did one more dance for us, we debriefed. It was probably one of the longest debriefs I have ever experienced but also one of the most beautiful. Student after student raised their hand to share how God had worked in them this week, but as "A" rose her hand and begin to tell her story it really touched my heart, coming to Baltimore almost questioning her faith, but knowing God had brought her here, spending time loving the "unlovable" and working along side my team and I, changed her life. As she cried and shared that she felt her faith level went from a 2 to a 10+ it made me smile A LOT especially on the inside. I realized that these students didn't just come here to change our lives, but they came here to allow God to change theirs. I love that I get to be a part of life changes on the regular.

There are so many things I could write about loving, but I will leave you with this final LOVE thought, I love that I get to intercede on behalf of others, so would you please pray with me for a few requests?

- Yesterday at Camp there were about 20 kids who accepted Christ, I want to make sure that we are following up with them, we are sheparding them, and helping them in their walk with Christ, I also want to make sure they understand what it means to accept Jesus to be their BFF!

-"S" he has big plans for his walk with God, he wants to make sure he's doing the right thing, he wants to go to college, he wants to have a family later on in life.

-D.A.- I will write more about him later, however please pray for his life, D.A. is invited to join a gang on a regular basis, he doesn't want to, but says that sometimes he walks away after saying no, wondering if he's going to get shot or jumped. The kicker to all of this D.A. is 12 years old.

-Finally please pray for our new team they are arriving in just short time, and will be leadning Princess Camp this week, and doing some outreach to women, women on the streets, women in the neighborhood and even women like you and I.

Thank you so much for praying, your prayers are HUGELY appreciated!