It's not about Black and White

Late last week I promised the kids that if they allowed me to get all of my work done on their day off of school yesterday, then I would ditch the office in the afternoon, and we would go play in the park. So they did just that they didn't bang on the doors, they didn't scream my name, they didn't hop the gate, they let me be until 2:59 p.m. (EXACTLY ON THE DOT!) and then came the banging, the yelling Miss Colleen, the can we go, is it time to go, "Let's go Miss Colleen," I don't think anyone can begin to imagine the joy it brings to my heart to walk three blocks to the park with 9 kids! I think I was more excited about it than they were, I couldn't stop thinking about it all morning, I thought about it before I went to bed on Monday night and I told EVERYONE I possibly could about my play date plans!

So as we walked to the park, the closer to the park the quieter the neighborhoods, the "nicer" the neighborhood, and the less desolate it becomes, it's honestly a world of difference between block 1 and block 3 between my house and the park. As we got to the last block before the park, there was an elderly lady sitting on her steps and as we walked past, I could hear her make a comment to her stoop sitting partner, something along the lines of here come the noisy hoodlums, I kind of side glanced at her and quickly reminded myself I love Jesus, and Jesus would keep moving and love her regardless of her ignorance. We walked a little farther and there was a family playing outside of their home and the little girl asked her mother, why the white lady was with all the black kids. The more we walked, and the more I felt my kids and even to some degree I were being judged, I began to pray in that moment and thank God for allowing me to be the white woman who walks 3 blocks to the park with those hoodlum black children, I began to thank God that I don't see the world in Black and white, I began to thank God for opportunities to tear down the black and white boundaries with these kids.

When we got the park, we rolled down the big hills through the dirt and raced to see who could get to the bottom first (oh and please don't think they didn't make me roll down the hill with them, I mean what kind of adult is going to let 9 kids taunt her about being scared?), we ran to the pond to see if we could see fish, we raced to the playground and saw who could swing the highest and fastest, we raced down the slides and threw the football. All the while I couldn't stop thinking about how thankful I was for this afternoon.

As we continued to play, a young white woman walked up to me with her toddler, and said, "Excuse me, are you with...." and I completed her sentence for her, "All those black kids, yes I am," and her response to me was, "Wow, it's amazing how much respect they have for you, how much fun you're having with them, and how good they are." I politely but sternly asked her what them being black had to do with anything, and she told me that she didn't think she could ever do what I do, so I prodded her, what is that I do that is any different than what we should ALL be doing which is loving others. So then and there I said, Ma'am, "I think you should come to our program one Wednesday evening, you'll see a room full of white people, loving a room full of black kids, and you'll see that it's not about black or white, it's about loving each other, it's about us all being humans, and really all being the same." And with that she walked away and told me that she just didn't think that was something that would interest her.

As it started to get dark and the kids and I headed home, I thought to myself, why does it matter that I am black and they are white, as I am watching them run to the next corner and wait for me, I realized it doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter to Jesus, it doesn't matter, and once again I thanked God for the reminder it DOESN'T matter. One of the older girls who was with us, she's 10 told me she overheard me telling the lady that I loved the kids not because of their color but because that's what we are supposed to do, and this little girl, said to me, "Ms. Colleen, I am so thankful that you love me even though I am black, and I am glad that you told that lady it wasn't about us being black and you being white." Then she hugged me and told me how much she loved me.

The best part of the whole afternoon was realizing with my actions, my faith and my heart I was able to teach a lesson to my kids, I was able to make them realize that it doesn't matter, I am going to love them through their struggles, through their color, through the pain, through the weariness, through the tears, through the hugs, through the temper tantrums and I hate you Ms. Colleens, my love for them is so much bigger than the words "I love you" or a hug...it's a deep unconditional love the kind of love Jesus has for me love.

So here's my one prayer request, would you pray with me for these kids, that they do learn it's not about black and white? That they deserve to be loved regardless? And would you pray with me about other people's ignorance towards color? Would you pray with me that I can help these kids learn to love without boundaries?

God is so much bigger

Disclaimer: This entry is LONG but it's all about what God is teaching me and I think it's worth the read, plus there's some cool stories at the end you won't wanna miss! So bear with me for this post!

God is so much bigger than the drug deals outside the door, so much bigger than the street fight I encountered on my way home the other night, so much bigger than the no ball playing signs that are creating friction on our block. He is so much bigger than the sin that happens daily, so much bigger than the pain that fills my heart sometimes for the people who live around me. God has been showing me so much over the past few days about how much bigger He is. I'm not gonna lie the past few weeks have been trying, for those of you who are regulars around here, on twitter or facebook, you know how much I love my job, pretty much not a day goes by that I don't tweet something about loving what I do, and trust and believe I LOVE WHAT I DO! But within in the past few weeks I've questioned what am I doing here, I have said Lord how am I worthy of all this, there have been days in the past few weeks that I have selfishly prayed for the kids not to notice me so I could just have a day, there have been days when I've watched things take place (i.e: street fights, drug deals and kids getting mistreated) and I've said to myself Colleen WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

During these past few weeks there have been times when I have had to sit down and have honest to goodness 2+ hour talks with God and say, really Lord what are you doing, what do you want from me here, what is my purpose? And for the first time in my life I feel as if though I can hear and feel the Lord speaking to me, telling me that He has me exactly where He wants me, and comforting me, and showing me things that if I didn't know Him I wouldn't be able to see. I think that sometimes we need a reminder that God is much BIGGER than we give Him credit for.

Honestly while the past few weeks have been painful as God is doing somethings in my life I don't think I was quite ready for they have also shown me I am becoming more and more daily the woman that God is creating me to be, I am learning that God's time is not mine and that as painful as it is we must wait upon the Lord, and strength will come through that, I am learning that I am NOT FORGOTTEN, and that even in the worst of times, when I turn my back and question God He's wrapping his ever-loving, unconditional loving arms around me. My creator loves me more than anything in the world, and He wants me to experience that love through pain, joy, heart ache and victory.

I am learning a lot about faith right now, and last night I spent sometime with a friend, that for the past year and a half all we've wanted to do was get together and fellowship, pray and share how God has been working in our lives, and honestly up until last night I kept getting frustrated every time we couldn't get together and last night I realized God would allow us to get together when He deemed it necessary, and well let's face it, last night was perfect...my sweet friend Ashley is one of the most amazing prayer warriors, women of God I know and last night she reminded me of this Verses in Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Sometimes this is hard for me, sometimes it's hard for me to have faith in what I can't see...sometimes its hard for me to be sure of the things I hope for, last night as Ashley spoke this verse into my life more than once, I realized that God calls us to be sure of the things we hope for and certain of the things we can't see, touch or hear, and through that faithfulness He will bless us.

I thought I would end this blog with sharing some ways that God has been revealing to me that He has not forgotten me and some of His blessings.

One of them is on Sunday I was driving home from church, and well lets face it I am human, and I am a girl and sometimes I feel insecure in who I am, who God has made me to be, it started during the sermon, I couldn't concentrate, my mind wandered, I couldn't figure out what God wanted me to learn that day, I felt lost...as my mind wandered I begin to think about all the things in my life that made me not good enough, not a good enough friend, not a good enough servant, not a good enough potential mate, not a good enough anything, and I couldn't wait to beat it out the door after church because I felt like I was going to explode into tears. That's exactly what I did, I cried the entire way home listening to my favorite worship cd, part tears of pain, parts tears of pleading with God to reveal himself to me, part tears of guilt. As I drove down 83 I prayed Lord please just make yourself so real to me today.

And guess what this is exactly what He did, as I pulled up to my house, the kids came bounding out of there homes (I'm telling you I must have a scent or they have GPS on my car) as soon as I pull up they spill out into the streets. Well this particular day a couple of the boys were the first ones out the door, and one of them ran up to me and said, "Ms. Colleen did anyone ever tell you, you look as beautiful as a princess?" I looked at him like he lost his mind and giggled and said, "Ha, a princess, I don't think so..." to which he replied, "Ms. Colleen you ARE as beautiful as a princess." In that moment I quickly realized this was God reminding me that I am a daughter of the King, I AM A PRINCESS. It's amazing what happens when you really are open to God revealing who He is to you.

The second happened on Tuesday night, I've been praying for a while for God to show me a special way that I could invest one-on-one time in some of my kids, so this week we began "Date night w/Ms. Colleen" three kids a week will get to come to my house, we'll prepare dinner together, we'll eat together (even have a lesson in manners) and we'll clean up together. It'll be s time where they can talk and I will listen, I will teach them about healthy eating, about working together as a team, and will provide them with an opportunity to have dinner family style. I've been SO EXCITED for this, well this week I had three of my friends over for dinner, we made dinner from start to finish, we shared stories, and laughs. Tuesday wasn't exactly the greatest day, and honestly around 5 I was like Lord really tonight, we have to do this tonight...YES I had to do it that night I promised and I was not going to break a promise to these beautiful kids, well as the night went on the kids shared with me how much they had been looking forward to this, how much they wished they could have dinner here every night, how sad they would be if I ever left them, and one of them told me how excited she was that I am teaching her about Jesus. After dinner we went outside and played, when I came in that night I leaned against my door and tears began to stream down my face, because I realized the Lord has me here for such a great purpose and how thankful I am for that, but also how often I take that for granted. This whole week I've been reminded by these three kids how awesome it was to have dinner at my house, to me it was making dinner for a few extra people and spending time with them, for them it was like eating dinner in a castle, I am so thankful for the little ways God reveals Himself, but even more thankful for the opportunities He's giving me to love people and to be the bearer of His Good News!

Finally the last one, a few weeks ago I had a little "run-in" with some neighbor boys, at the time when I requested they quietly get off my porch they did, but for the next week they tormented me, nightly I was praying and asking God to keep the fear away, I didn't want these boys to know I was scared, but I was...nightly they'd bang on my windows, one night they climbed the gate and were in my backyard, they stole my pumpkin from my porch and just plain made life miserable for a few evenings. Well, about a week later the boys came to my house one Sunday evening and let me tell you I thought I was going to cry as I stood on my porch because I had NO IDEA what they were going to say to me. I am telling you this is a miracle that only God can provide, these boys apologized, they told me how sorry they were that they were mean to me. Now in the mornings if I am in the kitchen on their way to school in the morning they knock on my kitchen window and wave and if the window is open they'll stop and chat. I am so happy that they've realized my house is safe, that my heart is open for them, and that I love them even when they are mean to me.

So my ONE prayer for today is this, will you allow God to show you the little things in life? Will you allow Him to use ordinary things to reveal Himself to you? I pray for YOU today that you'll find God in the most unexpected places and you'll allow Him to speak into your life.

Ps: You might think the picture I have chose for this entry is weird, however the other week as I walking across this bridge and taking in God's beauty was another one of those times I realized how much bigger He is than I sometimes allow Him to be, so this picture is a reminder that God is BIG and He wants to be BIG in my life, He wants to bridge gaps in our lives, He wants to be with us on the wild swinging bridge of life, but we have to be open to Him and to letting Him be.

Yes it's 2 a.m....

I can't sleep and I've laid in bed so long I am wide awake, I realize it's been awhile since I have updated my blog and honestly so much has happened I don't even know where to begin! A few weeks ago we met with the principal of the school that sits across the street and a few blocks up from us I am excited about the partnership that's going to be happening there, and am planning to spend a few hours a week in the school. I am excited about this because it's going to give me the opportunity to get to spend more time with the kids, and to get to know the school better. I am also excited about what God has in store for us as partners. The principal there was extremely open about a partnership that's not just one way. For those of you who've been following me for a while know that having a partnership with the local school is part of my heartbeat and at my last ministry I worked extremely hard to build a great partnership with the school, I am excited about what it's going to look like here.

There are so many exciting things happening around here, we've been preparing for the past few weeks to host a very special event in a couple of weeks. On Sunday October 30th the City Kids will be taking over the service at our East Baltimore Campus, they've been working hard along with our volunteers to learn the songs, the sermon notes, and everything else for that night. Tonight was the last night we got to practice before they take the stage in a few weeks and I can honestly say I am so excited. They did a GREAT job! If you're in the area and have time you should join us at 400 N. Luzerne Ave. at 5 p.m.!

There's also been a lot of impromptu fun around here, lunch dates and Dollar Tree shopping spree's, late night porch picnic pizza parties, dinner making and manner learning nights, and the plans for a girls sleepover (am I nuts?!) are in the making! As the clock creeps up to 3 a.m. I sit in my room at the table that overlooks the street, its so peaceful out there tonight, I thank God right now for the opportunities He provides for me to love my neighbors, the opportunities He provides for me to share my home with the community. I love how in the past week He's shown me so much of who He is through the kids I interact with on a daily basis.

Two extremely cool stories the first one happened last week, I was driving home and one of the little girls waved so I stopped to chat with her for a few minutes (one of my favorite things is pulling onto the block and seeing all the kids stop and wave!) she proceeded to tell me she was so excited because her daddy was coming to see her, and she hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks. As I continued to ask questions about her dad and where he lived and how often she saw him, she stopped me and said Ms. Colleen how much do you see your daddy? Tears began to form in my eyes because what this little girl didn't know was for a few weeks I've been missing my "daddy" not MY DAD but the idea of a dad. I looked at her and explained that I don't actually see my daddy, she continued to pry, where was he, why didn't I ever get to see him, wasn't I sad that I don't get to see him etc. etc. I looked at her and smiled and said "T" here's the deal, my daddy wasn't very nice when I was growing up and so I don't see him now. She looked at my with a long face and patted my arm, she said, "Ms. Colleen I am very sorry you don't have a daddy." What a great leeway into explaining to her that I indeed do have a daddy, and while I can't see Him, touch him or hug him, that he cares for me, that He loves me more than any daddy on earth could and it's Jesus. She looked at me and said, Ms. Colleen I am going to ask my daddy if he will adopt you... I politely told her that wasn't necessary especially since her daddy is two years younger than me haha, can you imagine! Finally she patted my arm again and said Ms. Colleen I am glad Jesus is your daddy, and I am sorry your real daddy was mean to you. What a great opportunity for me to share Jesus with her, but also what a GREAT reminder for me that even though I may not have a physical daddy, I have a heavenly daddy who loves me so much!

Finally the other story is this, I was driving home from church, having my own little pity party (I know right, how could I come from church feeling this way) and thinking to myself that I am not good enough etc. etc. well as I pulled up in front of my house a few of the kids come running over to me, and one of the little boys says, "Ms. Colleen has anyone every told you you're as beautiful as a princess." I said outloud, "A princess huh...? and then replied, nope I don't think they have." And then I realized I AM A DAUGHTER of the King, which means I am a princess. There's been some pretty awesome reminders coming my way in the weirdest most unique ways!

Man, there's so much more I want to write about, however I must leave some for another entry! Which I promise it won't take a month and a half to post and it's getting close to 3:15 in the morning and I am beginning to feel a little sleepy!

Before I go can I ask you guys to join me in prayer, for the kids of this neighborhood, and the schools all across this city that daily are accepting our students, may they be shown the love of Christ in the most unique ways.

I found a box and an answer to a prayer

Several years ago I happened up Angel Food Ministries, it's a ministry that helps bring food relief to communities, it allows community members to purchase food at nearly half the cost. It allows a family of four to eat for approximately $35 dollars per week. At the time I discovered Angel Food Ministries I wanted so badly to just start, not ask any questions just GO! Thankfully God pumped the brakes on my race car (I have tendency to take the wheel and take off sometimes), and I realized it wasn't the right time to start this ministry. As I've spent time over the past few months getting to know our community, and still logging onto Angel Food's website regularly I began to pray, I began to ask God when, I began to see the need for something like Angel Food in our community, I began to pray that God would give me the GO!

As I settled into my new office I stumbled upon a box. This wasn't just a box though, it was THE box that would be the answer to my Angel Food Ministry prayer. The box had everything needed to begin taking orders for Angel Food, Captivate was already listed as a host site, everything was all ready to go, the only thing that needed to happen was someone need to be willing to take orders, and be responsible for getting the deliveries out. I knew I was that person, what better way to connect with the families in the community then to offer them a low cost food option? What better way to help the kids eat healthier than to offer their parents low cost healthy food options? What better way to expose people to Jesus and Captivate in a non-threatening way than by helping them be able to afford putting food on their table.

So last week I made the phone calls need to activate us as a host site...and as of September 1st we are now a host site for Angel Food Ministries, we will take both online orders through the Angel Food Ministries website, when you search for our location, and in the office on Tuesdays from 10 a.m.- 12 p.m. You don't have to be a family in need to purchase from Angel Food, anyone and everyone can use Angel Food, the best part is you can pay with Food Stamps, Credit Card or Cash. You can view the monthly menu's on Angel Food Ministries website. I am confident that people both in and outside of our community will benefit from this ministry.

I am praying that over the next month we can really make Angel Food known in our community, that community members will see the benefit of Angel Food, that God would send a few people to help on distribution days, that God would lay it on a few people's hearts to sponsor a box for some families in need, and I pray for blessing over this new to our community ministry.

Serving others....

This summer as part of one of our week long summer camps we decided to do an art camp, the kids knew that throughout the week they would be making art that would be sold at the end of the week. They were also told that a portion of the money they raised would be kept in house and used for something special for them, and the other part of the money would go to a local charity, we gave them a few choices, the Animal Shelter, The Helping up Mission or the Maryland Food Bank, as the week went on we talked about each of the different charities and who they would help, the kids asked questions about each charity, asked where they were located etc. Finally at the end of the week we took a vote, and the charity with the most amount of votes would be where we would donate our money. When it was all said and done the Helping up Mission (HUM) is where the kids decided our money should go.

I wanted this to be an experience for the kids, I didn't just want to take a check to HUM and drop it off, I wanted the kids to be a part of the experience. So I called HUM and I asked what it would take for a few of the boys and I to visit? From the second we walked in the door until we left we felt like VIP's, Mr. Frank gave us a wonderful tour of the building, which lets be honest at first I wonder how the boys would actually feel about this, but they were so excited to see each room of the HUM, they were excited to meet some of the men in the program. At one point we got to visit the Spiritual Life Director Pastor Gary, and share with this class about our summer project. The rooftop visit was the highlight of the tour until Mr. Frank dropped the million dollar question, "Do you guys want to stay and serve lunch?" The boys all quickly said yes and we were swept off to the dining room where we hung out until it was time to serve, the boys were so excited to serve lunch to our new friends.

As I stood back I got so excited to watch the kids that God has called me to serve, serving others. The boys served the meal and then at the end, they turned around and said to me, "Ms. Colleen can you bring us here everyday?" It made me so happy that the three boys I brought with me were so excited about serving. We have talked about what it means to serve others, and that God has brought me here to serve them. As a part of my journey I want to teach the kids about serving and that God calls all of us to serve and that even though they may be 10, 8 and 9 they too can make a difference. While I can't bring them to HUM everyday, I do plan to arrange a time for us to visit on a regular basis. I am excited about how God can use them to change the lives of the men at HUM and how the men at HUM can change their lives.

Today I am praying for more opportunities for the kids we serve here to be able to serve both in and outside of their community. I am excited about how God is going to stretch them and grow them.

A late night Walk...

I've attempted to write blog post after blog post this week, but after about the first two sentences I would delete and think to myself, I will try again later. Nothing was just coming to me, however last night as I talked with Ms. Ida, she kind of wrote my blog for me. I was coming home from babysitting in Columbia and as soon as I pulled up my car was swarmed with the boys proudly telling me that they walked to the library yesterday and that they were sorry they didn't wait for me. It was dark and all of a sudden I hear, "Pee-wee, Damien, Doughboy, get over here, you know you're not supposed to be running all around right now," and she came over to gather them and talk to me. She told me they were about to walk Doughboy home (apparently he's related to her as well) and I said, oh can I walk with you, she looked at me like I had three heads and then said, "Sure (in her sweet Ms. Ida voice)!"

A little background on Ms. Ida, she's the neighborhood grandma, aside from her own grandkids, two of which she raises she cares for pretty much every other kid on the block, she loves them like they are hers and she disciplines them like they are hers. She's pouring out love at every turn, she's sharing her home, her stoop, her wisdom with those around her. Loving people, Ms. Ida reminds me a lot of Jesus, she makes sacrifices for others, she loves people, she's overflowing with wisdom and beauty like none other, she carries herself with grace and pours out mercy on those around her, a lot like Jesus, He made the ultimate sacrifice for us, He loves us no matter what, and He's overflowing with Grace and Mercy.

I have been praying for an opportunity to talk with Ms. Ida about Jesus, I've been praying (and inviting her) for her to come to a City Night service, I have been asking God for unique opportunities to love Ms. Ida and for opportunities to spend time with her. So last night when she told me I could join her on her four block late night walk my heart got so excited, because this was one of those unique opportunities to spend time with Ms. Ida, and God completely opened a door for me to be able to share Jesus with her in a unique way. She opened the conversation without even knowing it, as we walked down N. Luzerne from the 400 to the 500 to the 600 to the 700 block the neighborhood becomes more desolate, as we crossed over one of the block, there were police cars and ambulances on the block, as she's shaking her head, "There's always something going on somewhere, people just don't know." As I pondered that thought, I thought to myself don't know what, what don't they know?

That scene reminded me to ask if she knew anything about what may have happened on Orleans the other night and it turns out there was a young girl, who had gotten so wasted on crack she was doing the "crack walk" across Orleans and someone hit her, and then Ms. Ida said again, "They just don't know," so I pryed, what don't they know, "How far away from something Good they are." So my immediate response, is you mean God? They don't know how far from God they are? "Yes Ms. Colleen, that's what I mean, I know I don't do everything right, but I do know I am going to heaven, I do know who my God is," as we walked down that dark street, and watched people sitting on their stoops drinking, smoking, talking about the next round I could hear Ms. Ida reminding people to say their prayers tonight and I just smiled to myself. This woman who I have fallen so in love with is teaching me so much, using little words.

As we walked back to her house, we talked about when her kids were little, talked about how she reminds me of my grandma and how much I miss her, she invited me to come to Pee-wee's school with her tomorrow and meet his teachers, she told me about the nightly routine in her home, we laughed, we talked and in the moment I was relishing in the fact that God has once again provided me with something I longed for and missed in my life. My Grandmother and Ms. Ida are one in the same, my grandma was everyone's grandma, she'd sacrifice her last dime to make sure all the hungry kids got to eat, she carried herself with so much grace and mercy, as I hugged Ms. Ida last night we firmed up plans to take Pee-wee to breakfast and then she reminded me to remember to say my prayers, I held on a little tighter and I looked up and saw the moon trying to peek out among the clouds and I thanked God.

Ms. Ida has overcome so much in her 50some years, and I am thankful and excited to spend more time getting to know her, I am excited to share laughs, tears, meals and love with her. I am excited to learn from her, and share Jesus with her in the most unique ways. Would you pray for Ms. Ida with me today? For strength, for wisdom and for blessings?

The Next Dwight Howard?

I am pretty sure every blog entry starts with I love my job because...well this one is going to be no different. Yesterday I came back from a few days away, and I was more than ready to come back, I missed my neighborhood, the kids, my noise...I can only handle so much quiet! My welcome home was nothing less than I expected, "Ms. Colleen you makin' some frozen grapes?" You see on Sunday when I left had three bags of frozen grapes, when I got in my car I was left with one because the kids were so excited about them, so when I got back Nikoy wanted more, I promised that would be on my grocery list for today! I was also greeted with Ms. Colleen you're home in the loudest voice possible and smothered with love and hugs. I really am truly blessed. I spend a lot of time thanking God for providing me the opportunity, to love these kids, it's such confirmation that God provides the desires of our hearts.

Apparently according to Meiki, I am just like Dwight Howard on the basketball court, haha I think I have a LONG way to go, however the kids, Bryan and I played basketball last night, and man are they good, but I was told by these all-star basketball players that I've got defense skills like Howard! I'm pretty sure (okay not completely sure) that's a compliment! The fact that I played hard core basketball with the kids for an hour last night is something to celebrate for me, Dwight Howard or not I am excited...literally a year ago I would not have been able to do that, I would have shot a few goals and then found something else to do. But part of this journey I am on is a weight loss journey, I feel the best now that I have ever felt in my life...

Being a few days removed from the summer and all of it's madness I've spent some time reflecting, in my four years of ministry I would have to say this was by far the best most successful summer I've ever had serving. It's been so nice to look back and see the fruit from all of the hard work that was put in this summer, one great example of that is with one of the little boys in the neighborhood, you see this kids is a whiner, a hitter, a kicker, and pretty much no one ever wants to play with him. However last night as we played basketball, I invited him to be on my team, there was not hitting, no punching, and only a little bit of whining. The other amazing thing is the respect that the kids are starting to have at one point in our basketball game I grabbed the ball, called a time out and let them know there's not arguing, ball hogging etc. that only had to happen once and that's it. But the even greater reward is the number of kids who are asking questions about Jesus, who want and desire to know more, and who accepted Jesus into their hearts this summer. Five camps, seven missions teams and seven long weeks was completely and totally worth it.

As I begin to settle into a normal routine 'round here I dream about what life is going to look like over the next few weeks, months and years...I get excited about starting bible studies in my home, I get excited about cooking classes, dinners with neighbors, church services in our beautiful old building, opening my home to the kids, trips to the library, reading club, field trips, homework help, making cookies, and loving...I am so excited to love...I read and recite this verse multiple times daily,"A new command I give you; love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another," (NIV John 13:34-35), if nothing else I want people to know I love Jesus and I love them as He has commanded.

Would you join me in prayer for the next few weeks, months and years of ministry here? Would you pray with me as I continue my journey on faith? Would you pray with me as I love that He has called me to just as He loves me? Would you pray as I continue to seek out the plans God has for me and follow them? I am so thankful for prayer partners, thank you for your support and prayers.

Blessings from Chicago to PA, even South Carolina

Each week this summer I have been blessed to have the opportunity to share the ministry God has trusted me with, with people from all over the United States, this week is no different, this week Baltimore has been blessed with a team from Chicago, a team from Pennsylvania and a team from South Carolina. No two weeks this summer has been the same, they've all been unique and special in their own way, this week is no different, in fact up until Saturday morning there was an entirely different plan for these teams, we were going to host a Song and Dance camp this week, complete with a talent show, however as I prayed and as God connected the leaders of this team, I felt God was calling us in a bit of a different direction, and so we've been doing what I am calling a Taste of Camp, we've pulled a lesson from each of the few weeks of camp and we've reviewed them for kids who've been here all summer and introduced them to those who haven't, tomorrow we'll surprise the kids with an ice cream and pizza party to end the summer!

Each week comes packed with uniqueness and surprises, this week we've attended street church with our friends at Old Town Mall, we've hosted kids camp, prayed at murder sites in the neighborhood, visited our friends in homeless park, hosted a movie night for our neighbors and worked on several different projects around the church. By the time this groups leaves we will have freshly painted bathrooms, kitchen and multi-purpose room, we're also getting ready to paint an awesome mural in the back of the building as we convert that into a play area for our young neighbors.

If you'd like to see pictures from our week please add me on facebook

True Love...

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us the definition of true love, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. True love means loving someone through their flaws, loving someone with such an unconditional love, for many years I have prayed for the Lord to bless me with true love, however my prayers for true love haven't exactly been answered the way I wanted them to be (with a husband of course), but in a way bigger than I could have ever hoped or imagined, I have experienced true love through a beautiful group of children, through groups of people from all over the country who God has sent to bless my life. As I write my blog entry tonight I have a song on of my new favorites playing on repeat in the background and tears streaming down my face, because I realized tonight as I sat in the fellowship hall of the church and shared life with a missions team, and I could hear four or five kids calling my name from the street, that I have been blessed with true love. I've been blessed with missions teams from all over the country who've come to Baltimore and loved my ministry and me unconditionally, I have been blessed with a neighborhood full of kids who beat down my door daily, and who scream my name at the top of their lungs when they know I am home but not outside.

The other day I found a paper heart and it said, "I <3's you's," I picked it up out of the street and put it on my door hoping that one of the kids would claim it, and the next day, Pee-wee, said Ms. Colleen you found the heart I made you! Friday night I had friends over for dinner and as we gathered around my island, ate dinner and had fellowship, eyes peered in the windows, and little hand waved through the windows, last week I walked some of my kids to camp a few days out of the week and as I held their hands and walked down the street I realized my blessings, last night as I came inside and had three kids attached to me, I realized my blessings, I've known for a long time that God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we want Him too, but usually in the way He sees fit for us at the time.

Daily I pray for the Lord to send me someone who will appreciate this life He has called me too, someone who will realize that this isn't just a past time I cling onto until something better comes along, but that this is indeed the calling God has for my life. However tonight as I had my quiet time I realized that my true love and blessing is going to come from making funny faces for a camera with Chase, cuddling on the couch and listening to Daquan read a book to me, taking Kenyon, Maki, Tymonte and Imani to the Farmer's Market and then to Burger King for lunch, doing side walk chalk with Pee-Wee and handing ice cream sandwiches out my "drive-thru" kitchen window, my true love is going to come from the banging on my door, the trips to the library, the hugs and the lessons I am going to learn from these kids.

Tonight I am thankful for the lesson I have learned this week...that God is providing my exactly what my heart desires, even if not in the way I desire!

A few prayer requests:

-I met with some officers at the police station last week, they seem to be interested in what we are doing in the neighborhood and promised to make an appearance at some kidzclub events, so please allow them to stick to their word and actually come and spend some time with our kids.

-Four prostitutes I met on Wednesday evening, we sat in a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts and read the bible until 4:20 in the morning, I have heard from one of the girls since then and am praying that God will connect us so that more work may be done in their hearts and lives.

-For the teams here this week, one from Chicago and one from PA, I am so excited about the ministry that has already begun, and the bonding between all of us, I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this team.

Thanks for your prayers!

Just another lazy Saturday

Yesterday morning I was planning to make breakfast with Pee-Wee and Jordan but they stood me up, so I decided that I would make lunch with a few of the older kids that afternoon. As I came back from the grocery store, I heard the famous line, "Ms. Colleen's Home!" and there they were to help me carry in my groceries, as we stood in the kitchen and they had samples of fresh baked croissants we had gotten earlier at the Farmers Market with raspberry jam on them, and ponder what they wanted for lunch, I realized I had forgotten to pick up bread (we were going to have grilled cheese!), so I told them we could go out to lunch. I am so happy that we did that because I got to work with them on ordering from a menu properly, using manners and eating in a restaurant AND one of my homeless friends was around so we got to buy lunch for him too.

It was so fun to watch them each pick what they wanted from the menu politely order it, get their drinks and sit quietly for their food, even pray before eating. We talked about eating slowly, talking quietly amongst ourselves at the table, to clean up before we leave and to be polite to the workers. It melted my heart to watch these kids do all of these things, what made me even more proud and happy was the way they used please and thank you!

We spent the rest of the afternoon together, we went to my old house and picked some things up, we came back and they gorged themselves on fresh strawberries and peaches and then we snuggled up in the prayer room and read books.

Yesterday my house became exactly what I want it too, I had four kids in and out all day, I had a young single mom searching for jobs using my laptop and internet, engaging me in the "problems" of her life, asking me for help with her applications and then my friends spent the evening here, it was the epitome of perfect in my life.

The highlight of my day yesterday, this older African American man walked up to me and he said, "Ms. Colleen we need more of you in this city," I looked at him like he was crazy and he said,"I heard the kids saying your name, and watching you work so lovingly and gently with them, made me think we need more of you, here's my card let me know if I can ever do anything for you." As I was leaving he said, please email I am serious, I would love to know more about what your doing in Baltimore. I wanted to hug this stranger he wasn't complimenting me he was complimenting my kids!

I am so excited about the upcoming week and things God has planned for me, dinner with some neighbors, a new missions team to work with, taking the boys to the library, dinner with a couple of the teen-young adult girls, and possibly a cooking lesson from Ms. Ida!

Prayer this morning: God will continue to control every footstep of this journey!

Books, Books everywhere

Idream all the time about the things I can do with the kids, and so for weeks I have been dreaming about getting every one of them a library card and starting a reading club. Unfortunately when missions teams are in town its so busy I don't have time to get away and do things like that, however this week I have had a little bit of a break, and so I planned our first outing to the library! We took five girls, and off we went, they were so excited to go to the library, I actually thought they would moan and complain because we weren't going somewhere "cool!" But the library was actually more exciting to them then the trip to the aquarium they had taken earlier in the day!

After we argued over who was going to go on the first trip, and promising to get books the boys would like to read too, the girls won and got to go. The cool part about this was that two of the girls who came are turning 8 today and so we combined our library trip with a Happy Birthday Doughnut trip too (Happy Birthday Joy and Nikoy!). I was really surprised at how good they did at the library, we had spent time talking about how many books they would each be allowed to check out, and the proper etiquette for the library before we even went to the library. The limit at our library is 30 books and right now I have 25 in my house, and trust me they have already been put to good use. When we returned from the library the plan was to have the girls come in for an hour and read, there were a few rules, there was no playing, no talking, it was quiet reading time, and we were all going to read including Ms. Amy, Miss Lizzy and myself (we like to lead by example).

So five girls turned into 9 kids and 9 kids turned in 12 and before I knew it these kids you hear yelling and screaming outside of my house were sitting in almost complete silence reading, some of them only came into read because it was the equivalent of 110 degrees yesterday and my house was "freezing" compared to that, however I don't care why they came in, I love that they came in and they know my house is a safe, cool place for them to hang out. The other thing I loved was the fact that these kids were sharing books, handing them back and forth talking about what they were reading, and when the hour was up they didn't want to leave, they wanted to stay and read more. I have to admit I was so surprised at how well these kids could read, and how excited they were about reading.

The plan for today is to go and buy a book basket to keep in the prayer room, it will hold all of the books we bring from the library, and that everyday for one hour in the afternoon when I don't have a missions team here and I am home, I will allow the kids to all come in and have a quiet hour to read and talk about the books they are reading. In fact the last thing I heard last night before I went to bed, was "Ms. Colleen, please don't forget to put the smiley face out so we know when we can come over and read tomorrow." Next week I am taking some of the boys to the library, I am sure it will be an entirely different experience than the girls, but I am so excited! If you'd like to see the pictures from our library trip today or any of the summer activities please visit my facebook page and click on the summer 2011 Kidz Club/Camps album

Update: I called the police department to ask about the No Ball Playing signs, and while I didn't hear the answers that I wanted too, I did have a productive conversation with one of the community officers and he invited me to come and meet with him and a few of his partners on Tuesday about how we can partner within the community and to do things with the kids. I am excited about this partnership and to dream about how we can connect. One of the other things I dream about (I dream A LOT!) is how we can help the kids to see that the police are not all bad people, and that we need to respect them, but also how we can help the police see that the kids are not all bad either, and that sometimes they just need a little love.



My prayer for today is this, will you join me in praying?

-For the community officers I meet with on Tuesday to have open hearts and minds to what we are doing on the block and to be excited about getting involved.

No Ball Playing...and loving all of my neighbors...

On Tuesday some signs were put up on our block that say "NO BALL PLAYING" this has left the neighborhood in an uproar, the police have been standing on the corner to enforce this, and the homeowners at the end of our block have been out on the streets telling the kids that they need to take their fun elsewhere. There are a few reasons that the neighbors are heated about this, one is these signs were put up with a petition, however none of the neighbors at the end of the block where my home is were asked to sign a petition, the signs are posted between one house and another on the block and it is unclear about where no ball playing is too take place, and no one seems to have a clue what the real "rules" about these signs are. Last night one of the officer who was on the corner monitoring said ball playing, told me he assumed it was for the whole block but he wasn't sure. I am a little unsure about how he can enforce these rules if he's not even clear about them.

I politely told this "friendly" officer that I run a program at the church and that we play outside a lot and that I planned to continue to play ball in front of my property, and I thought it was ridiculous that I was being told what to do on my block in front of my house. His solution for me was to call the Southeast district community officers, which I do plan to do today. So as I was walking home last night from speaking with this officer, I knew exactly why the signs had been placed on the block, I knew exactly who had petitioned for these signs to be put up, and I too felt the anger of my neighbors, because the reality is these kids are playing football or bouncing a basketball, they could be standing on the corner hustling drugs, they could be busting out car windows, they could be clearing out our homes, but they aren't they are playing ball.

As I walked home a couple of the boys told me that the neighbors who wanted peace and quiet on the block yelled at them earlier for running down the block, that they told them they needed to learn how to play in a park, this made me even more angry, but as I walked past their house God reminded I was put on this block to love ALL of my neighbors, and that I should pray for my neighbors, and help them to see the movement we are trying to start with the kids on our block, I should pray for Him to be revealed to them through us and what we are doing here and that I should invite them down on a Wednesday evening to hang out with us and see that the kids really aren't that bad, they are just kids. In my head I argued with God about all the reasons why I didn't want to do this, but He gently reminded me of Matthew 22:37-39, "³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself," those neighbors deserve the same kind of love that I would give Ms. Ray, Ms. Ida, Big D or Ms. Crystal. They are no different, just a little more difficult to love.

So since I never see them, today I am going to send them an email and invite them to join us for church on Sunday and then tell them I would love for them to come and spend some time loving the kids with us on Wednesday evening, and through this I will get to love on them. I prayed in front of their home last night that they would be open to what God is going to do here and that their hearts would be open to my emails and invitations.

So would you pray for me today as I call the Southeast District and find out the actual rules of these signs, and as I send an email to my neighbors inviting them to church and to hang out with the kids? Would you pray that God would bridge the gap between them and the other neighbors, and they would see the community they are missing out on?

Fruit Salad, love and respect

This morning when I woke up I didn't hear birds chirping, or grassing blowing, no I woke up to little boys bouncing a basketball and squealing (okay maybe yelling) at each other, but the reality is that's my calm, that's my birds chirping, that's my peace. I was so excited, I jetted down the stairs and opened the door and asked them what they were doing and if they wanted to help me make a fruit salad. Of course they just wanted an excuse to see if I have a TV yet, so we can watch Cars, but they came and we made according to them, "the most delicious ever, Miss Colleen," fruit salad. As I stood in my kitchen with these beautiful little boys, I couldn't help but smile as they tossed the fruit I chopped into the big bowl and squeezed the lemon over it. I couldn't help but think of these little boys who shove, hit and scream at each other on the street, hanging out with me, being polite and learning what it means to share and have manners.

You see when I moved into this house, I immediately begin to dream about what it would look like to live here, making cookies with the girls, playing Wii with the boys, having bible studies with the moms, already I have made cookies with the girls, made fruit salad with the boys and have invited some of my neighbors to join me for dinner on a few different occasions next week. Last night when I pulled up in front of my house, I heard, "hey guys Ms. Colleen's home, come on," and suddenly I was surrounded by kids, I came in and got a basketful of ice pops and we sat on my front steps talking, and sharing flavor-ice. About an hour later one of the grandmothers who lives a couple of doors down from me, came over and said, "When you pulled up tonight it was like the world stopped, you sure are loved here," this meant so much to me, because really I didn't want to be the white girl who moved into change the neighborhood, I want (ed) to be the new neighbor who moved into to love her neighbors and live life with them. And while ultimately I know that God has put me here for a greater purpose, being a neighbor who shares loves is just one of the ways I get to do this. I love the fact that when I leave at night "Big D" asks where I am going and when I will be back, and while at first I was a little put off by this, I realized it was because he wanted to make sure I got home safely at night, and when I come home after dark "Big D" is sitting on his step waiting to make sure I am safe, while he's quiet and doesn't interact much he's made it perfectly clear to me that he's looking out for me. I feel so loved and respected within my community. I love that I can have conversations with my neighbors about prayer, I love that the kids want to know where I am going and when I will be back, I love that Pee-wee asks me why he can't see Jesus!

Over the past week my friends from Stough Baptist Church in North Carolina, were visiting Baltimore for their annual youth missions trip, we did a lot of things, but the one thing that means the most to me is that they worked so hard to help my house become MY home, they cleaned, they blessed me by fulfilling some of the wishes on my wish list and they finished some of the projects that were on the list. I have been so blessed this summer with people from all over the country who've come to Baltimore to be a part of my journey. Another amazing thing that we did last week was run a camp called Art Explosion, at the end of the week we had planned to have an art auction, the idea was that the kids would chose a charity that we would give some of the money back too, so they would know what it means to give back. It came down to pets and homeless people, the kids chose last week to support the homeless in Baltimore and they will be giving a lot of the money they raised back to the Helping up Mission here in Baltimore. The other part of the money will be used to do something special for the kids the last week of camp, these kids have been faithful in coming to camp every week and I want to do something fun with them. Thanks to all of our friends who came out and supported our auction we were able to raise over $500. When I told the kids this they were so excited, and I am so proud of them for their hard work last week.

I have a few prayer requests to share with you:

I am praying for Pee-Wee, I have fallen in love with this little 5 year old from day one when he told me I was his new best friend, this past week he has been asking a lot of serious questions about Jesus, and why we can't see Him, I have been praying and asking God to give me the right answers to say to him, but I also praying that he can see Jesus through the people God is placing here to serve and love.

We have two more camps this summer, I am so excited about them, I am praying God is glorified in everything we do here and that these last two camps are nothing but honoring to
Him.

Thanks for taking this journey with me through your prayers and support!

We're all the same....

Saturday morning my team from Zanesville pulled out and my new team pulled in just a few hours later, it's an all women's group from Elizabeth, New Jersey they've come to love the women in my life. The Pretty in Pink girls, my homeless lady friends, the little girls in my neighborhood and the homeless ladies I've grown to love in the park. On Saturday night we had trip orientation and we talked about the week, one of the ladies on the trip was worried about not being able to relate to the women she would meet this week, we talked about how she's right in so many ways she won't be able to relate to a girl standing on the corner selling her body, or a woman living in the park, or a young girl who goes home to an empty home with no food, but then we talked about all of the ways that she would be able to relate, she's a woman growing up in today's world, God has made us all beautiful and special and we each have a story to tell.

Sunday morning this particular girl was put to the test we went to street church and interacted with people who are "different" than us, we invited women who they didn't know to join us a few hours later for lunch and a day of pampering. A day of pampering it was, the ladies arrived to the church around 12:45 and we all had lunch and fellowship, and then the women on the team served the women from the streets through feet washing, massages, pedicures, manicures and love. It was a room full of beauty, I wish that I could have been able to share it with everyone of you who is reading this, this was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Laughs, love, hugs and stories were exchanged, some of the most broken women in my life were smiling, were relaxed and were getting the opportunity to forget about the outside for a few hours and understand the love of God through a group of women who God sent to serve them.

As I sat back and got pampered as well, I realized that we really are all the same, not in the uniqueness that God has created us all differently but in the sense that we do all have a story, and that we are all beautiful in God's eyes, God doesn't make ugly.

Today as we hosted day 1 of Princess Camp, we talked about being brave princesses, and we read a story about a little girl who was so brave that when lighting struck around her she believed that she was so beautiful God was taking pictures of her. When I first read the story I through to myself, how often do I become scared of life? How often does fear stand in the way of serving God? Am I not trusting God if I don't believe that He could protect me from my fears. The bible verse we meditated on with the girls today was 2 Timothy 1:7 "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." God has created us to be confident, to walk boldly into this world and serve and love Him beyond all measure.

As I pray over this week, I hope that God works in my heart, I struggle sometimes with accepting the truth I read about God creating my fearfully and wonderfully, and about how I am beautiful in God's eyes, and how the girls on the street that have captured my heart are no different that me. I am so thankful that God has called me to serve these women and young girls He strategically places in my life, I hope and pray that the story I have is one that can change lives, that can help these women. I hope that I can continue to blossom into the woman that God wants me to be.

I sat in a room yesterday full of women who were broken, but that God is working in, a room full of women who can relate to my journey and women who are going to love me through the ups and downs of the journey God is taking me on, for that I am so thankful and realize how blessed I am.

As I close tonight I have just one request, would you please keep these special women in my life (my team from Elizabeth, the women in my neighborhood, the women I meet through Pretty in Pink, the women from the homeless park and the women of street-church) in prayer, each of them has something in their life they are working through, each of them has a story to tell, would you please pray that their hearts would be protected through their journey?

I LOVE MY LIFE!

I can actually say that with complete truth, yes there are ups and downs and things that go wrong and things that go right, but I know that I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be right now, and I love it. I love that my "9-5" (which is hardly 9-5) is living in a community and serving the people there, I love that it consists of walking 50 kids to the local park for a day of fun, I love that it consists of watching the kids run through the sprinkler on my back porch, I love that it consists of hosting missions teams from all over the United States, and I love that I get to be Jesus with hands and feet in a broken city. I love that I get to hear stories like that of "S" and of "A"!

You see this week at camp we talked about prayer, and last night when we invited the parents to join us for a night of camp, we relived a day of camp for the parents, at the end we invited some of the campers to pray. Well as I looked back "S" was raising his hand and coming to the front. He stood in front of a room of about 60 people including the kids, and he shared the beginning of his story, about how just a few weeks ago he committed his life to Christ and how just last Sunday he followed in obedience to baptism. He also shared that just before a few weeks ago he didn't know how to pray and he said he wanted his first "real" (because I believe all prayers are real) to be with us, and "S" stood there and prayed with all of us the most beautiful prayer, about life changes, about Pastor Tally, about Maurice and Val and the new family to love him God has provided. Mind you "S" is only 17 years old, a senior in high school, he came yesterday and served along side the missions team, he stayed last night and shared his heart about going to college someday and what he wants to be. This is why I love my life, I get to experience these things day in and day out.

You know what else I love, I love that I get to watch teenagers who come from the suburbs, small towns and other place, come to Baltimore, serve there hearts out and leave Baltimore changed. On this trip there were many life changes, but there was one that stuck out the most to me. Last night after we shared late night tacos, and the kids sung one more song and did one more dance for us, we debriefed. It was probably one of the longest debriefs I have ever experienced but also one of the most beautiful. Student after student raised their hand to share how God had worked in them this week, but as "A" rose her hand and begin to tell her story it really touched my heart, coming to Baltimore almost questioning her faith, but knowing God had brought her here, spending time loving the "unlovable" and working along side my team and I, changed her life. As she cried and shared that she felt her faith level went from a 2 to a 10+ it made me smile A LOT especially on the inside. I realized that these students didn't just come here to change our lives, but they came here to allow God to change theirs. I love that I get to be a part of life changes on the regular.

There are so many things I could write about loving, but I will leave you with this final LOVE thought, I love that I get to intercede on behalf of others, so would you please pray with me for a few requests?

- Yesterday at Camp there were about 20 kids who accepted Christ, I want to make sure that we are following up with them, we are sheparding them, and helping them in their walk with Christ, I also want to make sure they understand what it means to accept Jesus to be their BFF!

-"S" he has big plans for his walk with God, he wants to make sure he's doing the right thing, he wants to go to college, he wants to have a family later on in life.

-D.A.- I will write more about him later, however please pray for his life, D.A. is invited to join a gang on a regular basis, he doesn't want to, but says that sometimes he walks away after saying no, wondering if he's going to get shot or jumped. The kicker to all of this D.A. is 12 years old.

-Finally please pray for our new team they are arriving in just short time, and will be leadning Princess Camp this week, and doing some outreach to women, women on the streets, women in the neighborhood and even women like you and I.

Thank you so much for praying, your prayers are HUGELY appreciated!

Life Changing

That's the only phrase I can think of to describe the last few days. I have to tell you that every time a missions team rolls into town I pray for their lives to be changed, but the reality is my life is changed every time there is a group here. This week I am blessed to work with a youth group from Zanesville, Indiana, the minute this group stepped off the bus they were hit with culture shock and a WHOLE bunch of work, I don't think they were expecting right away. But they took it in stride and god work done! I for one was impressed.

The first night they were here they got to experience Baltimore, we had literally hit the block to do a prayer walk and invite our neighbors to church on Sunday, and as soon as we crossed over one block, the police helicopter was out overhead and cruisers were all over the place. It turns out a criminal from another district took off running with handcuffs on, so they were trying to catch him. Welcome to Baltimore friends. In the end this all worked out because we actually got two police escorts for the rest of our walk, and they were actually engaged in what we were doing, its so refreshing to be in a police district where the officers seem to take an interest in what is happening within their community. It was so exciting to watch the students put aside there fears walk up to complete strangers in a completely unfamiliar place, and pray, place their hands inside the strangers and call out to God on their behalf, moments like this make my heart happy.

Sunday was an even more special day, we go to experience Street Church with Baltimore Street Church members, this is what church is about, stripping away everything and getting down to the nitty gritty. Street church is filled with homeless, addicts, prostitutes and the poor, it meets in the middle of an old abandon mall, and in my heart and eyes is the epitome of beautiful. As I looked around and saw my team holding hands in a prayer circle with our new friends, sitting next to someone they didn't know and listening to their story, and learning the 'Sinners Prayer' song and dance with Ms. T, I knew that we were all in for a treat. I love having the opportunity to share my heart and passion with people, yesterday as I stood in the middle of Old Town mall, I almost cried as I watched the people that I love so much be loved on by 30 "strangers" who quickly became friends. In fact, I heard that when the bus pulled up our friends got SUPER excited!

When I didn't think the day could get any better we headed over to what we call "Tent City" which is no longer tent city it's just some homeless people living in a park next to a church. These homeless people are more than just homeless people they are friends, they know John and I and they allow us to come into their home and bring guests. We came with nothing more than Bibles and water, you see most other people who visit the park come with meals, clothing and gifts, but we came with very little other than ourselves and had an experience like none other. I watched Miss Candy tell her story to the girls about contracting HIV, I watched Ms. Dee-dee share her story about being homeless, a prostitute and running from the law and how God has redeemed her, I watched a group of students sit around a homeless man and hang on his every word and he shared his story, as you looked around the park all you saw were mini prayer circles, you saw students laying hands on what most would consider dirty and disgusting people. I am telling you these experiences change my life, I get to watch life transformations in people and it changes MY own life.

Finally, on Sunday we got to attend a Captivate City Night, we were meet at our East Baltimore location, it was a special night because two young people from the neighborhood were baptized. What made it even more special, was one of the team members that may have been questioning something about her relationship w/Christ, she was among 4 people who accepted the gift of Eternal Life last night, it was beautiful.

I tell you the more I look around the more I see lives changing in this group, in me, in the community, kids are lined up waiting outside to play, to come to camp to love us and for us to love them. Today we had our first day of summer camp 27 kids showed up, 27 kids were loved, 27 kids loved us back. It was probably in the 4 years I have been doing camp one of the BEST first days. I am so excited for what camp is going to be like tomorrow.

Finally we had one more life changing experience this evening, want to talk about bringing things home, even for the leaders of these wonderful students, tonight we took the team on a murder walk, we walked to five different murder sights within the city, sights that were researched and personal to us, sights were we could tell a story. While were standing at the sights we challenged the kids to think about what it is like to stand on the site were literally at some of the sights six months ago someone was murdered. We stood outside of a corner restaurant were a 15 yr old was shot and killsed in November, to hear the thoughts that were going through the teams head as they stood their and in other places throughout the evening was evident there was change.

This is home...

I've been hearing the chorus to Switchfoot's 'This is home' song for the past 24 hours, here are the lyrics:

This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home,
Yeah this is home

Last night my team and I hit the streets of East Baltimore, we knocked on doors on my block, we ventured down Jefferson Street almost to Lakewood, we went up and down Glover St. and we made friends, we greeted people, we invited them to church, we loved people, we invited their kids to join us for summer camp, we prayed, we laughed and some of us went well beyond our comfort zone. IT WAS AMAZING! I don't know any other way to describe it then amazing.

When I am in the "mean" streets of what most people would consider the "hood" I literally feel like I am home, in my element in the place I've been searching for to call my own. Sometimes I have to sit back and giggle to myself that this white girl from Kansas, finds her comfort place in the middle of a place that most people would never step foot in, let alone give it a second thought.

The one thing I have been praying for as I make this transition from quiet Little Italy, to not so quiet Luzerne Ave. is that I would be well received by my neighbors, that they would not only welcome me to be a part of their neighborhood, but that they would also welcome me to live (and share) life with them, experience the pain and heartaches they experience, to celebrate the victories and joys they celebrate. I have prayed they'd join me in fellowship around my dining room table, they'd find peace in my quiet prayer room, they'd join me for bible studies, they'd join me at church on Sunday. I crave community within my community.

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you know that I spend days dreaming about what my life is going to look like in my new neighborhood, I dream about making PB&J's and sitting on the front stoops with the little boys playing ball, I dream about teaching the little girls to make cupcakes and cookies, I dream about sharing Jesus with them, I dream about starting an early morning bible study for the young adult women who live near me, I dream about applying for a Kaboom grant and building a community playground.

Last night as I locked up and was headed to meet my team at Mr. Yogato for our weekly tradition of yogurt and laughs, I ended up being 20 minutes late because every kid in a 2 mile radius needed to know where I was going, who I was going with, and when I would be back, it makes my heart smile to know these kids anxiously await their play time with Ms. Coco! Today as soon as I pulled into the neighborhood, Damian came running across the street (yes I scolded him for not looking both ways) threw his basketball at me, and told me he had been waiting for me to come back, these are the type of relationships I want with my neighbors.

I have a few prayer requests to share with you, last night we had the opportunity to pray with some pretty special people, and also to hear some pretty special requests, I am going to share a few of them with you, so you can join me in praying:

-Ms. "P" she lives across from me, her entire family is in Detroit she moved to Baltimore for a job, she asked us to pray for her family, her health, our neighborhood, city and country.

-Ms. "D" rededicated her life back to Christ a few weeks ago, she told us that Jesus has been popping up everywhere in her life lately, and this weekend her son is getting baptized this Sunday and she wants to pray for him and his journey.

-Ms. "T" asked us to pray for her family, she was so thankful for a job, and she was excited about joining us in church on Sunday, so we are praying that she's able to make it.

-Norman is 14 years old he joined our prayer circle and asked us to pray for school and his family.

Thank you for lifting up my new friends in prayer with me!

Feeling Like Stretch Armstrong

You know that gooey toy we played with as kids, you could pull his body parts and see just how far he could be stretched? That's how I feel this week, a lot like Stretch Armstrong, that God is pulling me in 5,000 different directions to see how far I can be stretched outside of my comfort levels, in my faith and in trusting Him.

Honestly it has done nothing short of make me run into His loving arms. Yesterday I spent so much time reading, praying and meditating in scripture it was so refreshing and renewing, it was just reaffirmed that He has overcome the world, so that I may find Peace and that He will NEVER leave or forsake me. I find great comfort in knowing that when I find myself in tears in the middle of a bed that doesn't belong to me questioning what on Earth I am doing, that His loving arms will find me and comfort me.

Between Saturday and today I have found myself hitting wall after wall when I try to accomplish things that need to get done for hosting our first missions team this summer, however I am not going to let that get me down! I am so excited for this team, I did a little bit of research this morning, this team is in for a treat there are from a town where the population was less than 600 in 2009, the percentage of races other than white is 2.5% combined, I am so excited to see how this team reacts to first stepping off their bus in East Baltimore, to what their reaction is when they get on the bus to leave in a week. I am anxious to watch God take away the fears they may have, to grow them and stretch them in ways they've never imagined, I am excited to watch them get scared and comfortable all at the same time, I am excited to see how they react to murder walks, homeless people, drug users and everything else they are going to experience while they are here.

So during this week while I continue to follow my heart and work to get acclimated to my new neighborhood, new home, new ministry and basically new life, while I continue to get stretched beyond my wildest dreams and God continues to work in my heart in remarkable ways I will continue to run into His loving arms, continue to seek His face and continue to pray for ways to become more like Him.

Would you join me in a few prayer requests this week?

-For rest and renewed strength this week as I prepare for a big week of ministry next week.
-For safe travels for the missions team that will be driving here from Indiana on Saturday, it's approximately at 10-12 hour drive.
-Also for the team to grow in Christ and each other while they are here, and that as a team we will all walk in the steps that God has ordered for us over the next week and that we will have complete grace with each other.

Thanks friends!

Guest Post: James Yi!

At my last ministry I had the wonderful opportunity of working with and mentoring a group of college students from UMBC and Towson CRU, this summer I get to proudly watch a few of these students go away this summer to places like Ecuador and Africa to serve in Summer Projects, one of these students in James! I am asking James to share his heart with you today, he will be traveling in just a few short weeks to Botswana, Africa, will you join me in prayer for James?

My name is James Yi and I am currently in my final year at UMBC pursing a B.S. in Mathematics. I want to share with you some of the most exciting and humbling experiences of this last year.

Despite what seems like constant struggles in my college career, I have been heavily devoted to a ministry called Campus Crusade for Christ. As you read this today, Crusade is actively involved in over 3,500 campuses worldwide. UMBC has been fortunate enough to be part of this movement for the last three years.

Through Crusade, I had been blessed with the opportunity to serve at MetroKidz where I fell in love with not only the community, but also our fellow volunteers. Our team, led by Colleen, began to spread the love of Christ throughout this area. Serving together every Wed. night was a life changing experience.

MetroKidz was where I developed a heart for young children. Witnessing the struggles these children experience on a daily basis broke my heart. It made me realize how blessed my family was and how much I took that for granted. This was definitely an opportunity for me to give back to the community.

I want to share with you a story about one of the kids I worked with every Wed. by the name of T for the sake of personal privacy. T is in the 2nd grade and lives fairly close to where MetroKidz was held every Wednesday. To say this kid is hyper is an understatement. There have been many occasions where my body has taken the place of a jungle gym for T to climb and I loved every minute of it. Beneath all of the hyper behavior, there was much more to T than I knew at the time.

One Saturday morning I visited T's family alongside a couple other volunteers to meet his family. That morning I had a full list of families to visit, but immediately I knew I would be spending majority of my time talking with T's family. I began to listen as T's mother poured her heart out to our group on her front steps. T's family struggled financially, spiritually, and emotionally. T had recently lost his sister to social services. While listening to her talk, I could see a boy crawling to the door. As I focused my vision towards him I could see his body was deformed to the point where his legs were immobile. It turns out T's mother was raped by a family member and this boy was the result of the tragedy. My heart began to melt on their front step as she continued to tell us the struggles that T's family endures. Through these daily struggles, it amazed me how much she devoted herself to prayer and how firm and grounded this woman's faith in God was.

Despite all of the madness surrounding T's life he was the most easygoing, energetic, ambitious, and optimistic kid in my class. As much as I wanted to be the one teaching T, he taught me how to love and inspire others despite what Satan is doing in our lives. I no longer went to MetroKidz selfishly looking to change lives, but to learn from each and every one of my kids because that's what T taught me.

The day I stepped foot into T's house for the first time was the day I made a dedication to devote my final summer as a college student to go on a summer mission trip to work with young children. I prayed for God to guide me to a place where He wanted me to serve this summer. At Radiate (Crusade's Christmas conference), I found myself in awe at an answered prayer. God has led me to join a team to serve in Botswana, Africa to work with orphaned children and students at the University of Botswana. Praise the Lord!

In order to travel overseas this summer I must raise a total $5175. I have roughly $1900 left to raise by July 2nd. God is in full control and I cannot wait to see what He has in store these next few months. I ask for your helping hand as I humbly attempt to fulfill the Great Commission this summer. There is nothing more my team and I need than your prayers. Please pray that God will provide for us financially, for safety overseas, and that we may be fully dependent on God and not ourselves.

It was a pleasure being able to share with you all what God has been doing in my life recently. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I leave you with a quote from a book I am currently reading, "A Million Ways to Die: The Only One Way to Live."

" If I believe the salvation of my neighbor rests wholly upon my words and witness, I might knock on their door every hour. If I believe it rests wholly on God's sovereignty, I might never knock at all. However one works it out theologically, on a practical level the line between God's sovereignty and human responsibility must be kept taut. Tension after tension, always trying to find the sweet spot: This is the life of a Christ follower."

- Rick James

God Bless!

If God is leading you to support James financially if you click his name it will take you to his secure CRU site where you can make a donation.